Not a day later, the Camaro reveals itself as an Autobot named Bumblebee. He can’t get the first, not yet, but his father does buy him a yellow, rusted Chevrolet Camaro. The actor plays Sam Witwicky, a high school junior whose last name sounds like someone bumped into a turntable, who is fixated on two things: his classmate, Mikaela ( Megan Fox), and owning a car.
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For years, the AllSpark rested, sitting dormant like a giant, useless art installation. In the civil war that followed, Autobot leader Optimus Prime ( Peter Cullen) jettisoned the planet’s power source, the AllSpark (or “The Cube,” colloquially), into space, where it traversed the stars and landed on Earth. Cybertron’s peaceful existence was rocked by the betrayal of Megatron, leader of a faction called the Decepticons, which is a bit like being surprised when the head of the Coalition For Pushing People Down the Stairs pushes you down the stairs, but the Autobots were an incredibly trusting race. Like Krypton, but populated by sentient SUVs.
FILM TRANSFORMER 1 SERIES
Ninety-five percent of the reason Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson are in the series is for Duhamel’s Captain Lennox to call in an air strike, and for Gibson’s Tech Sergeant Epps to look up and say, “Oh yeah, that’s an airstrike.” If you cut out every shot of a jet taking off from an aircraft carrier, each of these movies would be half an hour long.Ĭenturies ago, in the furthest reaches of space, a planet called Cybertron thrived, the native “autonomous robotic organisms” (Autobots for short) living in perfect harmony. The only thing Michael Bay shoots more lustfully than women is the United States military. I swear in some scenes there is audible heavy breathing just off frame. Michael Bay films the female body like Guy Fieri films pulled pork on Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives. Everyone cares about Jazz’s death for roughly 22 seconds.
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The first, to ask “What’s crackin’, bitches?” The second, to say, “Earth looks like a cool place to kick it.” The third, to say “Aghhhh” as he’s ripped in half during the climactic battle scene. For example: the jive-talkin’, breakdancin’ Autobot named Jazz, who speaks around three times throughout the first movie.
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So, before we officially begin, a few important technical aspects to keep in mind throughout:įor a franchise that is ostensibly about a race of robots made of outer-space sheet metal, the Transformers films have a nasty through-line of borderline racist caricatures. To navigate to the Transformer of your choice, click through these links: What is the difference between an Autobot and a Decepticon? Who is Sentinel Prime? Why would a robot incapable of reproducing sexually need a giant, swinging pair of testicles? Dive in to these burning questions, and more, right here. What I can do, however, is explain every detail of Michael Bay’s pyrotechnic-porn franchise based on a line of toys from the 1980s, the ins-and-outs of the Transformers universe. I now dream of explosions, think primarily in Linkin Park songs I blacked out halfway through Age of Extinction, and when I woke up I was leasing several Dodge Chargers. To prepare for the premiere of Transformers: The Last Knight, I watched all four prior Transformers movies-all 611 minutes-in the span of two days, an experience I’m confident changed me as a person.